Spoils of war
by Aoi24
Summary: The Strawhat pirates reunite and are surprised at what trophies Luffy 'won' during his second trip to Amazon Lily. COMPLETE


When the straw-hat pirates are reunited amid much tears, snots and rubbery group hugs that simultaneously amuse and warm the hearts of all onlookers, they have much to share and once it is certain that no one is in any danger of dying and Sanji has stopped weeping into the shapely legs of Robin and Nami they all sit down to share their adventures……over food and alcohol naturally enough.

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After much confusion, blood and righteous outrage the pirates had escaped Marineford on the Moby Dick mark II with their grievously injured captain and comrades in tow. (Ace still wasn't allowed out of bed. Even when full body tackling his younger brother to the side he still got a nasty bite out of his side with lava. Thankfully Marco and Vista were there to cover them or it could have been a hell of a lot worse.)

Things _had_ gotten very confusing though in the aftermath and Luffy had been separated. As it was, Shanks covered the retreat of everyone and basically stared down absolutely everyone present proving once more that he was a hardcore badass and there was a damn good reason people respected him. (Aside from his excellent taste in liquor)

Trafalgar Law had rescued Luffy (after a particularly nasty altercation with Akainu. Man, was that guy persistent!) and Hancock had commandeered a vessel before taking off in pursuit. Rumours were rife as to what happened afterwards but it's clear that she caught up and took him back to Amazon Lily. What happened afterwards is not so but it was confirmed that Law went with them to keep an eye on his patient and several months later he was spotted in the company of the Kuja pirates once more and Eustass Kidd swore blind (and with great jealousy) that he saw the man drinking in a tavern with a bevy of Kuja beauties. No one believed him because what idiot would believe that women of Amazon Lily would willingly spend time with a man that didn't involve them inflicting violence upon them?

At any rate, Hancock had met up with the Whitebeard pirates, charmed them all (as she was wont to do) and deposited Luffy with them while ensuring to give him her den-den mushi number and bidding farewell with a passionate kiss that Luffy was far too casual about. The straw hatted pirate had cheerfully waved, grinned through his bandages and casually promised to bring his crew to visit later. (He unwittingly made many enemies that day. But what's a few more to the hoard?)

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The Straw-hats had much to catch up on. After finally extricating themselves from a rubber death hug that bore more than a passing resemblance to a wootz steel trap they very loudly and exuberantly (the same way they did everything really) shared their stories starting with Zoro and ending with Luffy. Aside from Sanji curling into a ball and whimpering for a long time it was massively successful and the bedraggled Whitebeard pirates were soon gathered around to enjoy the stories with Ace throwing an impressive tantrum and having his bed wheeled up beside Luffy so he could listen in.

When Luffy recounted his experiences on Amazon Lily everyone got slightly funny looks on their faces, mostly jealousy and some ill-concealed amusement. (Mostly from Robin and a touch in some others, most notably Marco and Whitebeard.) When Luffy finished his slightly edited version of events because he felt this sort of thing was really boring anyway everyone started pressing him for details but the non straw-hats didn't get very far lacking expertise in Luffy-isms. It was at this point that Nami finally got around to going through everyone's luggage, searching for treasure but does that really surprise you?

Surprisingly enough, everyone had returned with some baggage. Sanji had managed to pick up some new recipes, spices and for some strange reason he brought Nami and Robin several boxes of _fabulous_ shoes for which Nami reduced his debt by a full 20%!! (I think you should understand that these were the Jimmy Choos, the Manolo Blahniks of the Grand Line. Expensive and the cutting edge of fashion.) Chopper and Usopp brought many interesting plant cuttings. Franky some interesting machine plans. Robin some books and Nami some reports on weather science. Brooke had apparently written some new songs and had somehow obtained a couple of jars containing…..well that was a whole 'nother story and a place we do not want to go right now. Zoro brought himself and a hank of meat that he had tossed to Luffy who had caught it in a manner distinctly reminiscent of a well trained dog and reinforced the notion by letting Zoro scratch his ears. Ace didn't seem to find this weird so the Whitebeard pirates wisely made no comment.

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Luffy brought an enormous sack.

No, really. It was a really big sack filled with something that was; to Nami at least because it clearly couldn't be what she was hoping for, distressingly soft. It was filled with…scraps of material? Well, that's the notion most people would get but Nami was an expert in scandalously skimpy clothing, generally wearing it on a daily basis, so she was astute enough to identify it for what it was. Which was scraps of clothing. Definitively female clothing at that as all of the pieces seemed to resemble parts of bikinis that definitely screamed 'I am woman, hear me roar' in a chic, warrior woman way.

"Luffy," Nami began slowly "Why do you have all of these…" Nami pulled a face that expressed a great deal of strain to use the words she had chosen "_female garments_."

Everyone (which was all of the straw-hats, Ace, Whitebeard and all of his commanders plus several hangers on who were slacking and eavesdropping something terrible.) watching got a terrible sense of foreboding. A series of gob smacked expressions descended from above to grace the faces of those unfortunates with no otherwise interesting reaction. Whitebeard sighed and took a drink feeling it was going to be one of 'those things' like the escapade that took place when Shanks decided that Marco needed cheering up and had convinced Thatch (who took to it with a rather demented glee.), Vista and a few other notables that the blond needed to get laid so they abducted him and brought him to the finest brothel they could find. Marco was rather insulted at the implication that he needed to pay but that a minor point in the night which destroyed the red light district, left Vista with some 'interesting' marks, Thatch the inability to walk completely straight for a fortnight and Shanks the eternal enmity of one pissed off zoan. Interestingly enough Marco has a standing invitation to visit the whores for 'freebies' at any time so it could technically be counted as a success and says a lot of complimentary things about him really. (Whether or not he takes them up on the offer has never been confirmed.)

Ace sighed and began massaging his temples while grumbling to himself with an expression of someone really put upon but as he was someone who tended to mention his little brother in the same breath as leashes and bizarre cases of bondage no one really paid him undue attention. Sanji was doing his best to rip out a throat but Franky was holding the enraged chef back as he contemplated the idea of patterned fur panties with a little too much interest. Luffy was completely unbothered which wasn't really helping his case.

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It seemed that after his dramatic escape with the heart pirates (Law was apparently a fan of dramatics even if he didn't take direction well.) they had met up with Hancock and returned to Amazon Lily. Law and Bepo (technically not a man) had been permitted to come ashore but the rest of the crew were turned into stone. Law didn't seem to mind this and was in fact rather amused particularly as Hancock promised to turn them back……eventually.

Luffy had recovered under the strict supervision of the dark doctor and the obsessive hovering of the pirate empress. They had contacted the Whitebeard pirates with the den-den mushi and once the safety of Ace had been confirmed Luffy relented to his recovery before seeking out his crewmates.

Law enjoyed his stay immensely especially when he implemented an 'equivalent exchange' program. The Kuja warriors got the chance to 'touch a real live man' and he acquiesced providing he got to touch them back in return. It was a common sight to see a tattooed hand creeping up a beautifully toned thigh in his presence. Everyone seemed happy with the arrangement even if his popularity would never top that of Luffy.

It was Law who suggested, near the end of their glorious but brief stay that Luffy needed some exercise to stretch out his muscles, check entropy hadn't set in and his wounds had healed properly. They had a long line of volunteers so they made their way to the coliseum. Hancock and her sisters took their traditional positions and Law managed to wrangle himself right into the middle of a group of buxom beauties. (He later claimed that he was in a voluptuous mood so his surroundings needed to compliment that.)

This is where things got interesting. Yeah, the fights were pretty good (Okay, so they were approaching epic in scope) but what would you expect from a 'D' carrier and a tribe of haki using lifelong warriors? So in this instance we'll move on to the really interesting bits and the reason why every so often one Trafalgar Law would drool in reminiscence and number two on the list of reasons why Eustass Kidd hates the man. Remember now, the Kuja are ruled by one simple rule: 'Strength is beauty'. Power overrules everything and their traditions reflect that. So, when a warrior loses they reflect their shame by stripping and presenting their clothes to the victor as a trophy. Luffy was strong, there was a lot of fights and at the end of the day he ended up with a big bag of clothes and Law desperately whispering into his ear trying to convince him to start a wild orgy 'since nearly everyone is naked at this point anyway.'

The fact that Luffy was curiously schtum on what happened then spoke volumes or it could just be that he had stuffed an entire turkey into his mouth and was working on an enormous steak at this point. Sanji seemed to have a pack of smokes in his mouth, desperately trying to calm down while Franky, Nami, Robin and some of the nurses examined the clothes that Luffy had 'won' from the famed Amazons. Zoro, being a man of priorities, quite frankly informed his captain that he was going to teach him everything he knew about women because clearly he had some sort of 'magic touch'. Sanji protested and Ace gasped in protest but they were interrupted by a cry of surprise as Nami held up a beautiful if familiar looking qipao decorated with the kuja symbol. There was a resonating silence and Marco arched an eyebrow before turning his head to notice the burning fire that seemed to ignite around him. Ace and Sanji being at the forefront, the men bowed down and begged to learn his secrets. Well, most of them at any rate. Whitebeard certainly did not but he did guffaw mercilessly and while Marco did do what Thatch had once termed 'the eyebrow thing' he remained standing but began emanating waves of pure unadulterated amusement.

Luffy continued with his dinner. The girls (and Franky) pilfered some of his spoils of war and that was pretty much an end to the matter. (Until Boa Hancock met Portgas D. Ace at any rate.)


End file.
